Monday afternoon and evening

Mom was stable on Monday morning when I arrived at her nursing home; she was in her rolling recliner in the activity room where some pretty music was playing. Her nurse handed me a cup of Ensure and said Mom had not taken any of it for breakfast. When I asked Mom if she wanted some, she nodded but when we tried a tiny bit, only a few drops went in.

So, I asked for a swab with some flavored water to soothe her lips. The CNA brought a cup of lemony mouthwash with a swab, and that seemed nice for Mom. We just sat there and I held her hand while she rested. She really wanted to hold my hand tight.

I am thankful for my husband who said for me to just come and be here with Mom. Tim took our homeschool on the road yesterday! I guess you could call it "Career Day". Julia and Ben did their schoolwork in the back seat of his crew cab pickup while he made his rounds to the dairy farmers and seed dealers. Ben said he would like to do that every day. Tim thinks Ben enjoyed the breakfast (Sanger Donuts) and the lunch (Taco Bell). Today Anna took the children to their group classes, and then Grandpa J. will take them home for the rest of their school day. Family pitches in--that is just what we do!

In the afternoon Mom wanted to go back to her room, so she rested there in her rolling recliner all the rest of the day and I played a hymn CD that has some lovely music--soft singing and lovely instrumentals. I bookmarked each hymn in Mom's hymnal as the next one came on (there are 34) and I just sang along to all the hymns so Mom could hear. She seemed to enjoy that, and was calm and content with the music playing up until the evening. When a dinner tray was offered, I shrugged my shoulders and then took the glass of orangade off the tray and took it to Mom to see if she was interested. She motioned "no". The nursing home keeps offering food and drink, which is what they should do. Mom needs to have the chance to say what she wants to do. She knows she can't swallow and she is resting peacefully for the most part.

Steve and Kathy and chidren arrived in the late afternoon, and then Brian, Leca and Emerson. When Mom opened her eyes and saw Steve standing over her, she started crying and wanted to hug him tight. Each grandchild had a chance to hug their gramma and there were just a few tears. The Lord has prepared each one over the years as they have seen their gramma struggle. Sweet little Bryanna has such earnest eyes. At one point during the evening, she asked, "what is a tumor? What is a blood clock?" Steve was holding her. He will explain about a tumor and blood clot at a later time.

Kathy went and asked the staff if we could sit in an open room since we were a large group. The nursing home is being remodeled and they have a couple of rooms unoccupied at this time, so they let us use a freshly remodeled one for the evening. We wheeled Mom into the middle of the room and everyone sat around her in folding chairs or on the beds.

The evening was just as if we were all sitting in Mom's living room with her. The children visited with one another and we all had a regular conversation. Mom seemed to enjoy just being in the presence of her family and enjoyed hearing everyone have a good time together even though she had her eyes closed. It was not somber or ceremonial or tearful at all. I think Mom was pleased to just be there listening in to everyone. Later I thought that maybe we should have sung a hymn to her, but no one thought of it at the time and everyone just seemed relaxed. It was a good evening. At one point in the time together, Mom started reaching towards the ceiling and towards the top of the wall in front of her line of vision. She had her eyes open. Mom has done this same type of movement in the past two days while I've been with her, and I have not been able to figure it out. I have asked her if she is pointing at someone, and she usually answers no. I have asked if she is seeing Jesus, and she says no. But when she did it last night when all of us were in the room, Brian was the one to ask the questions, and when he asked, "Are you looking into Heaven?" Mom nodded her head yes and she smiled. "Do you see Jesus?" Another nod of the head and slight smile. So, maybe she is seeing a glimpse of what is to come. I took it as a gift from God. All of the children present were really quiet. I hope they will always remember this time with joy in their heart.