Mom's Memorial Service of Celebration

On Saturday, November 21st, 2009, at 1:00 P.M. we met at Valley Church in Cupertino for a time of celebration and worship, in remembrance of God's goodness in the life of Gene Moose, our mom.

Here is the program that our daughter Anna prepared for the service:

front and back cover

Inside the program: (click on the program to see it larger)

In this post I will put the text of as much of the service as possible.

Thankfully, Mom had planned a good bit of her own service. She told me that she wanted Dave and Dian Ruder, old friends from Valley Church, to play the piano and organ. We were thankful that they could come and do that.

She also wanted Amy Abels to sing, and Amy was "able" to practice some lovely songs with only a week's notice. Amy asked James Papasin to sing the duet parts and they turned out so nice. Jonathan Holowaty accompanied them, and as always was such a blessing to hear.

Many years ago, Mom had asked her former pastor, Jerry Elwell, if he would preach a particular message at her memorial service one day. We were so thankful that he was able to come for the service. He will be sending the text of what he said, and I'll include it in a post soon.

Here is the song which Amy and James sang at the beginning of the service. It was a favorite of Mom's, and was sung so beautifully by Bud and Alice Schaeffer at Dad's service in 1988.

Finally Home by L. E. Singer

When engulfed by the terror of the tempestuous sea,
Unknown waves before you roll;
At the end of doubt and peril is eternity.
Though fear and conflict seize your soul.

But just think of stepping on shore--and finding it Heaven!
Of touching a hand--and finding it God's!
Of breathing new air--and finding it celestial!
Of waking up in glory--and finding it Home!

When surrounded by the blackness of the darkest night,
O how lonely death can be;
At the end of this long tunnel is a shining light,
For death is swallowed up in victory!

But just think of stepping on shore--and finding it Heaven!
Of touching a hand--and finding it God's!
Of breathing new air--and finding it celestial!
Of waking up in Glory and finding it HOME!

Brian read the always-comforting Psalm 23, and also commented that Mom had told him one time that she wanted to gain a new friend each and every year of her life. He said that from the number of friends that Mom had when she died, that would put her at well over 200 years old!



Here is the story that I wrote about Mom's life. Originally, when my brothers had asked me to plan the service, and we thought about writing a eulogy, I had no intention of reading or speaking out loud during the memorial service. I thought I would dissolve into tears. So, I wrote the following story for our good friend Burt Lancaster to read. Burt has a wonderful reading voice and he used to read the Scriptures at our church where he and Diane attended with Mom and Dad. The night before the memorial service, when I was reading the story out loud to friends so they could critique it and see if it was clear, they assumed I would be reading it at the service. I said, "no! I can't do that!" But my friend said, "Jane, you HAVE to read this." So, because I wrote it for someone else to read, and it was not about "Mom and I did this and that", but rather how "Gene did such and such", I prayed about reading it and then the Lord gave me the courage to do it.

Olga Gene Thompson was the fourth of six children born to Mary Olga and Charles Thompson. Her family lived in San Jose, but she was born at the home of her grandparents in Aromas, California. (note from me: this was because Gene's mother had poison oak poisoning in her blood at the time of Gene's birth, and had to be cared for by her mother because she was so ill.) Later, the family moved to Santa Rosa, and Gene spent a happy childhood in a rural setting, in a home full of music. Gene began playing the piano at an early age, and accompanied her siblings on their instruments. Gene enjoyed school, and always wanted to be a teacher when she grew up.

Gene had several nicknames in her life, but she most fondly remembered that her Granddad called her “Doodlebug”.

Gene’s father worked for Beacon Oil, and during the war, she and her sisters worked in his filling station, pumping gas.

When her brothers came home from the war, the six Thompson siblings would go and sing on the radio together. Their father sponsored a radio program called “The Beacon Barn Dance”, and to end the show, Mr. Thompson would have his children sing hymns. The Thompson family singers got to be quite popular. At the end of each show, the announcer would even say, “Drop a card or letter and let us know what you’d like them to sing next time.”

Gene Thompson attended San Jose State College in 1946 where she met a girl in the registration line with the same last name. Gene became best friends with Ruth Thompson, and later served as maid of honor for Ruth when she married Kelsey Patterson.

Gene’s older brother Edward had a college friend named Irvin Moose. Irvin was a handsome and responsible young man who had served with the Army Corps of Engineers in Japan before enrolling in college. Irvin met Gene at her home in Santa Rosa, in June of 1948, the day before he graduated from Santa Rosa Junior College. After almost two years of dating while Irvin attended the University of San Francisco, Irvin proposed in May of 1950. They were married on July 1^st, 1951. Her sisters were her bridesmaids, and her friend Ruth Patterson was her matron of honor. Gene and Irvin lived in a furnished upstairs apartment on Tilton Avenue in San Mateo. Gene taught 1^st and 2^nd grades at Sunnybrae School in San Mateo. When they bought their first (and what was to be their only) home, on McLellan Avenue, they purchased their first piece of furniture with Gene’s teaching retirement money: a piano.

Gene and Irvin raised three children in their little house on McLellan Avenue. First came Janie, then Brian, and then a few years later, Steve was born.

Then, Gene had an experience that was new to her: she went through a terrible time of post-partum depression. But, the Lord used this time to cause her to search for what was missing in her life: salvation and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Their good friend Kelsey started calling Irv very early on Sunday mornings to invite them to church. Finally Irv and Gene went, and Gene volunteered to teach Vacation Bible School, because she knew how to teach. She was surprised that the church asked her only to help instead. As she helped, Gene listened to the children’s stories of how Jesus came to die for our sins. Soon, both Gene and Irv came to an understanding of their need for a Savior, and they prayed to receive Christ.

Gene and Irv began teaching Sunday School, and one friend remembers the first time she ever met them: they were in the 4&5 year old class, teaching the children to sing “Jesus Loves Me”.

Gene helped her children as they went through school. She encouraged them with their studies, and tried to make school fun. Each year she would help the children choose a new lunchbox. She filled those lunch boxes with exactly what her children liked. In fact, she even began making peanut butter and pickle sandwiches for one of her sons when he asked for them! At Christmas time, Gene would make special chocolate kiss peanut butter cookies for the children to take to their teachers. Also, during the school year, she would invite each child’s teacher over for lunch on a school day, so she could share about her faith in Jesus Christ.

Gene was involved as the Chairman of Christian Women’s Club, and later she was a discussion leader for Bible Study Fellowship. She had a passion for teaching women the Bible, and how to be good helpers for their husbands.

Gene was a wonderful hostess. She had cookie exchanges, teas, and all kinds of get-togethers. Everyone wanted to come, and Gene was a wonderful witness through her hospitality.

Gene made a point to share with everyone she knew, about her love for the Lord. She would invite her neighbor ladies over for tea, and would always tell them about her relationship with Christ.


She really wanted to share with her next-door neighbor, but could not communicate with her because her neighbor spoke only Japanese. So, when Gene saw that Billy Graham’s Decision magazine was printed in Japanese, she ordered a gift subscription. She never heard a word about it until years later when the neighbor rang Gene’s doorbell, and holding up the magazine in Japanese, indicated with signs and motions that she had received Christ as Savior.


With all these wonderful stories, you might think that Gene Moose was perfect. But, I know a secret: she got angry once in a while. One day she saw someone back into their front fence. She went right outside and gave him a piece of her mind. Later, when she was telling her friend Ruth all about it. Ruth replied, “Well, you must not have read your Bible this morning!”

Gene really enjoyed watching Lawrence Welk on television. And, her children were told to keep quiet during the show. Do you kids remember her saying, “this is the only time I ask for a little bit of quiet”?

Gene also had a sweet tooth. She really liked See’s candy. Milk chocolate, not dark. She would sometimes come home with a pound of See’s and ask one of the kids to please hide it from her. Then, the next day while they were at school, she would work extra hard while cleaning the house and she usually found it!

When her daughter Jane went as a missionary to Peru, Gene started a Mothers of Missionaries prayer group. She also really enjoyed going out to lunch with her friends. At least one “Lunch Bunch” was formed this way!

In 1985, Irv was diagnosed with cancer, and Gene dropped everything and worked tirelessly to care for him until his Homegoing in 1988. After Irv’s death, Gene prayed about what to do with her time, and then the answer came in two ways. First, she went back to being a discussion leader for Bible Study Fellowship. Also, she began teaching piano lessons, and this new endeavor brought much joy to many children.

During her widowhood, Gene was lonely at times. So, she invited company to come in even more! She invited her grandchildren to come stay with her, one at a time, during the summers. “Camp Gramma” was founded, and the activities and outings were lots of fun. Some of the grandchildren said, “When we slept over at Gramma Moose's house, she told us if we were good we would find a candy or a toy under our pillows in the morning. But even if we were bad we would still find a candy or a toy.”

One summer, Gene invited many young children to come to her home to participate in a music class. She called it “Victoria’s Music School”, in honor of her granddaughter Victoria. The children learned music theory and even wrote their own music. How many of you remember learning music from Mrs. Moose?

Did anyone here ever receive a Christmas angel ornament from Gene Moose? Gene loved making them. She always wanted to make people happy. Today in the reception there will be a Christmas tree with a sample of each of the angels that Gene made.

Gene had a vision for Women’s Ministries. She helped begin the women’s ministries program at the small church she began attending after Irv’s death. She was intent on excellence in all things, and she made Bible Study rewarding and interesting. She also helped begin their annual tradition of having Christmas teas.

Gene served as a church pianist many times during her life. She was always available, and she even led a children’s singing group.

Music was always a major part of Gene’s life. From her childhood up until her last day on earth, Gene had a “song in her heart” and enjoyed playing and directing music. Even after her stroke, she was able to hum perfect harmony to any hymn. And, on the day that her best friend Ruth passed away, when she gathered with the Patterson girls around their mother’s bed, all of a sudden Gene started directing everyone with her hand, that they should sing a hymn.

One of Gene’s last conscious acts, while her family was gathered around her bedside, was to start moving her hand in time to the hymns that were playing in her room, as if she was directing music. And, when Gramma Moose directed music, everyone sang.

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Colleen Mortensen gave a wonderful tribute to Mom. Here are her notes of her talk. Colleen was one of the gals who Mom mentored through the years, and later Mom said goodbye to her as Colleen left to work in Albania. It was while Colleen was in Albania that Mom had her stroke. When Colleen returned home, she and Mom kept up their relationship, and Mom asked Colleen one day if Colleen would do the honor of speaking at her memorial service. Here is what Colleen said:

Gene Moose

January 7, 1928 ~ November 13, 2009

A Godly Legacy of Godly Virtues

A virtuous woman, who can find? For her price is far above rubies. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. ~ Proverbs 31:10,25-27

These words taken from the OT passage of Proverbs 31 could just as easily be written to describe Gene Moose. She exemplified these qualities in all that she did. When I first met Gene in 1998 at Berean Bible Church, I remember walking away from our conversation and thinking to myself, “that is a woman that I want to get to know better and would love to have her mentor me.” Even in my brief interaction with her at that time, those qualities mentioned in Proverbs 31 were evident. In the years that followed, Gene and I became great friends and she took every opportunity to teach me to exemplify Christ more and more in my life. She was always doing this with people. She regularly came alongside young single women in the church and mentored them. I was blessed and changed for the better by knowing Gene. I remember so many afternoons after church where Gene and I would have lunch together often at Max’s Opera Café which was one of her favorite lunch spots. We would end up back at her house and talk about anything and everything for hours. The bible was always opened during our conversation and I do remember tears on both sides being shed many times as well. She had such a sweet spirit and could empathize so easily with people. She was such a great source of wisdom on biblical topics. I found myself seeking her wisdom often. When I went to Albania as a single missionary, she was just a phone call away. She was such a great encourager and gave me hope when we would speak. She had such an easy way of directing my thoughts back to God and biblical thinking. One thing that she did when I left for Albania was to give me a package filled with several gifts with instructions to only open one on the first of each month. Each gift came with an encouraging note pointing back to God and His goodness. When Jane, her daughter and I were talking a short time ago, it was fun to learn that she had first done this for Jane when she went to Peru years before.

When thinking about Gene, one cannot help but think about the NT passage of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. This is the famous passage on love. Gene embodied the love described in this passage. The passage reads, Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Gene loved people and was always making sure people knew they were loved. She was always sensitive for the other person. Perhaps that is why she took so many single women under her wing at church. I am not sure how many of you were able to visit with Gene after she had her stroke, but these qualities of love continued to be demonstrated in her life. After her stroke six years ago, she was struck with Aphasia and was unable to speak clearly and concisely, but she could clearly get her point across if she wanted to. Just as this passage talks about love being patient, Gene was patient. If she couldn’t help you to understand what she wanted and you said, “I am so sorry, I just don’t understand.” She would shrug her shoulders and mouth, “Oh well.” I can’t imagine living like that for six years and having so much to share beforehand and not being able to share now. She was so patient even at the end. When I visited her hours before she went to be with Jesus, we had a similar experience and she just shrugged her shoulders when I couldn’t understand and turned her lip up as if to say, “Oh well.” Even when she was in so much discomfort, she was patient. Jesus Christ had changed her life and she was such a sweet and gentle soul till the end. The passage talks about being kind. Gene was kind. She was always taking time out to be with the younger women in the church and to teach them things their mothers never taught them. Her kindness continued after her stroke, I remember last year when one of the women from the home where Gene lived stopped by her room to say hello. Gene caught my eye with her eyes and motioned that I should talk to this woman and make her feel comfortable. Gene wasn’t able to talk much with this woman, but she certainly wanted to make sure that I would talk to her and make her feel welcome. The passage talks about bearing and enduring all things. Gene bore and endured all things. Before her stroke, she had battled lymphoma and all the treatments that went with it with grace and dignity. She was always so gracious whenever you talked to her about her treatment and how things were going. After the stroke, she was always so cheerful whenever I would come to visit her in either home. She bore up with the difficulties of this life with great courage and strength of character that I know was only found in her savior Jesus. Finally, the passage talks about believing and hoping all things. She believed and hoped all things. I know without a shadow of doubt that as Gene sat silent in her room year after year, she prayed for people. She was always ready and eager to rejoice with people when they had some answer to prayer to share. She loved to pray and read her bible since she had come to know Jesus personally. I know that all those years that she spent studying and memorizing scripture kept her encouraged, believing and hoping all things. Christ was her solid rock before the stroke and was her solid rock after the stroke. It was because of this strength from Christ that she was able to be an example and teach others to live a life that challenged them to love Jesus more.

I think it was because Gene had such a sweet and gentle disposition throughout her life that she had so many visitors to her room during the six years she spent in the care of others. I think those who worked at her homes were surprised by the number of visitors she constantly had. Her family kept a log book where visitors would write notes about their visit. It was so fun to see how she would have up to five or six visitors per week. Not many of us can say that we get that many visitors now. It was also amazing to see how loved she was by the staff and other residents at both her homes. In her most recent home, I took note of how many staff would make a special stop at Gene’s room to wave and say hello. There were also many residents who would roll their wheelchairs into her room. She was loved and there was something that drew them to her even in a state of being unable to talk. I know that it is only because of Christ’s transforming power in her life that she reflected Him back to the people who visited and the people who cared for her daily.

I believe because of this she also was such a joy and delight to be around. Even in her final hours, I remember Jane holding up the phone so that Gene could hear her oldest granddaughter, Lizzie. Gene smiled such a bright smile that must have taken so much energy because of the obvious joy at hearing her granddaughter’s voice. After the phone call, Gene followed that smile by lifting her only good arm to conduct in perfect time the hymn music playing the background. What an honor to sing alongside her conducting such heavenly music in preparation for her home going. She will be greatly missed by many and will be greatly remembered for her love of God and her desire for others to love Jesus more. Proverbs 31:29-31 says it best. Many daughters have done nobly, but (Gene) you excelled them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Goodbye Gene, we love you still!!!!

Will you Love Jesus More?

Now Amy Abels, James Papasin and Jonathan Holowaty will grace us with a song selected by Jane, Gene’s daughter. It is titled Will you Love Jesus More? Gene’s main goal above all else and even at great expense to herself was to ensure that people knew who Jesus was and that those who did, loved Him more. She often reached out to her neighbors and was always inviting them over for teas where she would share about Jesus. She wanted all to know about Jesus and I can’t think of a more fitting song at her memorial. Thank you Amy, James and Jonathan.

Here are the words to the song:

The joy we've shared, the memories,
Times of love and laughter
Heartfelt words, a tender touch,
Sometimes a tear or two,
But above all else that we've shared on earth
I want for you to see
That there is something more I've been called to do
There's someone else I want you to see

Chorus:
Will you love Jesus more

When we go our different ways

When this moment is a memory

Will you remember His face?

Will you look back and realize

You sensed His love more than you did before

I pray for nothing less than for you to love Jesus more


I liked to keep these memories
And treasure them forever
To reminisce from time to time
About the smiles we shared
But above all else I hope you will come
To know the Father's love
When you see the Lord face to face
You'll hear Him say "well done"

Chorus:

Will you love Jesus more

When we go our different ways

When this moment is a memory

Will you remember His face?

Will you look back and realize

You sensed His love more than you did before

I pray for nothing less than for you to love Jesus more

Will you love Jesus more

When we go our different ways

When this moment is a memory

Will you remember His face?

Will you look back and realize

You sensed His love more than you did before

I pray for nothing less than for you to love Jesus more

I pray for nothing less than for you to love Jesus more.

During the sharing time, many loving friends and family had special memories of Mom. Her friend Myrt Arthur brought the following letter which she read, and then she gave us the letter to keep. Myrt gave me permission to include her letter here, and I think you will find it a real blessing to see how God brought Mom and Myrt together as lifelong friends. Again, you can click on the image and it will enlarge so you can read it more easily.

Friday, November 20th

This was the day we were not looking forward to. It was the day we were to bury our mother. The day was very blustery and very cold. The drizzle kept us indoors at the reception area before going out to the graveyard. Then Pastor Jerry Elwell led us in a sweet service of committal in a small chapel because the grave site was so cold and rainy. The Lord allowed us to have this extended time to visit and then to worship indoors before going out to actually come face to face with the reality of seeing Mom's casket and take it to its resting place.

Here are a few photos from outdoors, after the service.

~Gene Moose~

Safely Home with the Lord

Friday, November 13, 2009, 6:00 AM

Memorial Service of Celebration

The Valley Church
10885 N. Stelling Road, Cupertino, CA
Saturday, November 21, 2009
1:00 PM
Reception following
click here for directions

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Jane and Tim Jacobsen
5000 N Zediker Avenue
Sanger, CA 93657

Brian and Leca Moose
232 Auburn Avenue
Santa Cruz, CA 95060

Steve and Kathy Moose
P. O. Box 620841
Woodside, CA 94062

Thursday evening, and the dawn of a new day on Friday

We are here with Mom. She is more responsive than she was early this morning and responds with a little raised eyebrow and the tiniest bit of a smile when we ask her questions.

Her grip is strong, her breathing is getting more labored, and she is struggling with rattling at the back of her throat. Brian and Steve and Kathy along with Colleen are here, and Anna is driving over tonight.

The Hospice nurse has been very helpful. Mom is in good spirits, she seems happy and when I asked her if she is going to Heaven soon she nodded her head.

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More about that Thursday night and the next morning, as I reminisce from home today (Saturday, November 14th)

When I arrived in the afternoon on Thursday, the hymns were playing on the CD player in Mom's room. She really seemed to like the soft uplifting melodies. We sat around her bed and talked to her. She seemed to raise her eyebrows a little bit and also her forehead crinkled like she was trying to smile, but her mouth could not move any more. We took turns going in to sit by her, each one of us children by ourselves and also in small groups. It was a sweet time. Brian had to go home, so he had a special time of saying goodbye.

Later, shortly before 6 PM, I asked the hospice nurse if I could just crawl up on the bed next to Mom, and he helped to gently move Mom over a little tiny bit so I could curl up next to her there. I put my hand on hers and just stroked it. Her breathing was getting less labored as the nurse kept giving her drops of morphine. But she was also not responding much either. Around 6 PM I called Lizzie and she wanted to talk to Gramma, so I put the phone up to Mom's ear and she listened while Lizzie talked to her for a while. After Lizzie finished, Mom seemed to start responding more and she showed happy signs with her eyes and forehead again.

We were all just there in the room with Mom, sharing fellowship with her and one another.
Shortly after 7:30 I looked up from my place next to Mom and saw a pretty face in the doorway. I thought she looked familiar--then I started crying. Louise had come after work. I told her, "I knew you would come!" We had just been through the time of Homegoing for Louise's mom Ruth Patterson not that long ago, and now here we were with Mom who was going Home as well. Louise had a chance to say goodbye to her mother's best friend, and we were glad that she was able to stay for over three hours and just sit with us reminiscing through the night. The nurse in the morning had said "this afternoon or early evening", but Mom was surprising us once again. When Louise came, I believe Mom was still responding to our voices. We still had the hymn CD playing over and over again, and Mom seemed to still really enjoy it. Then, as I was holding Mom's hand, we noticed that Mom had put her fingers together and was moving her own hand in time to the beat, and she seemed to be directing music! So we, the obedient "choir", sang along a little bit! We kept on singing bits and pieces through the night, softly now and then. It was such a peaceful time and Mom was completely comfortable.

Louise finally left around 11 PM, and Mom was still with us. We had all thought Mom would have surely gone Home by then, but the Lord was waiting to take her in the bright dawn of the new day.

Breathing slowing

Dear loved ones,

I just called the nursing home, and Kathy is sitting with Mom, reading to her. I called Mom's room and Kathy said Mom brightened up when the phone rang and wanted to hear me. Today she could not speak or make any sounds. Kathy said Mom's breathing has changed and is getting slower.

She said I should come.

I told Mom on the phone that if Jesus calls her before I get there, that I want her to answer His call and to go with Him.

I have a feeling that I'll be able to see her again today. Thank you for praying for me as I travel, and for our entire family.

love, Jane

p.s. My father in law is putting a new windshield wiper on the car for me and I will leave in 5 minutes...the nurse told Kathy that Mom may have just hours left. I will not speed (very much!) It is with excitement and anticipation in what the Lord will do today, that I go on my way. He is GREAT and GREATLY TO BE PRAISED.

Mom seems comfortable at this point.

Wednesday afternoon

Mom had more visitors this afternoon and of course she just thrives on having people there caring for her. Colleen came in the afternoon, and then Mom's neighbor Jaswinder who lived across the street from Mom in San Mateo, came while Colleen was still there. Colleen has been coming sometimes twice a week from Morgan Hill, so she has seen the gradual progression of weakening. Jaswinder has also been to see Mom recently, but it has been a few weeks since she has seen her. The change in Mom has been astounding. It is so discouraging to see her not able to swallow, and just wasting away.

Mom wanted to go outdoors today, and the weather in Redwood City was delightfully warm. She went outside with Nan, and again with Colleen. Colleen spent the most part of her time just swabbing Mom's mouth with the flavored water. Then as Jaswinder was arriving, Mom was needing some anxiety medication and some morphine for pain. Colleen went searching for a nurse and found someone who could help with the medication while Jaswinder held her hand. Clearly, the Lord uses each visitor in a special way and we know Mom is thankful for all the help. Because Colleen has been with Mom on other times when she has been in need, she knew what questions to ask Mom to report to the nurse. Of course we feel badly when visitors have to go through the painful process along with Mom. This is when the promise, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" comes in. God does provide the strength we need to do these hard things.

From Colleen's report, it seems that Mom was actually doing a bit better today than she was yesterday when I was with her. She certainly interacted more today. Her nurse said her blood pressure was about the same as yesterday. Sorry I took so long to put the post on tonight. I've been feeling discouraged about Mom not being able to eat and I've shed some tears about it. It seems so unfair and I start feeling sorry for Mom. But those are not helpful thoughts and I need to give them to the Lord to help me get back on track. We really feel everyone's prayers. Thank you.

Wednesday, November 11th

Good morning!
I called the nursing home a couple of times this morning; the first time they said Mom was still in bed and was weak. Later I called again and they said she had visitors--I thought it would be Mom's dear friends Dr. and Mrs. Condie, and I was right. I called Mom's room and Mrs. Condie said they had been reading the Bible to Mom and praying with her, and now Mom was motioning that she wanted some Ensure. I told them how to put it in a cup and use the tiny spoon to gently spoon a half of a spoonful over Mom's teeth and then it just puddles in her mouth and gives her some comfort. They did that and she liked it. Then they put Mom on the phone because she wanted to hear me talk to her; I could barely hear her, but her voice was stronger than yesterday when I was sitting with her. I told her I loved her, and she said very clearly, "I love you" in a not so weak voice. It sounded like she put all she had into it. That will be a wonderful memory for me!

Mrs. Condie then said that Nan Devine had just arrived so they were going to visit with her for a bit and then go. How wonderful that Mom has visitors today. God is so good.

Tuesday

When I arrived at the nursing home today, Mom was in her recliner chair near the activity room. She is resting peacefully under the watchful supervision of the wonderful nurses at the front desk. They pulled up a chair for me to sit by her. Mom grabbed onto my hand and she has a really strong grip. Her eyes really did not open much during the entire time I was there (from 11 AM to 1:15 PM). The nurse brought some Ensure and the can was on a little table by Mom. I put a tiny bit on a spoon for her; she wanted it but it did not really stay in. So I got a swab and the nurse gave me a cup of yellow mouthwash liquid that I used to swab on Mom's teeth and gums. Later Mom began grabbing for the can of Ensure and I asked her if she wanted some more--she indicated yes, so I tried giving her a little spoon more. After that she did not want any. Mom's blood pressure at 1 PM was 72/40 and her pulse was 77. The nurses comment that she has a very strong grip in her hand for someone in her condition. Everyone is amazed at how strong Mom is. Her lips still are pink and her coloring is pretty good. I asked her if it would be okay for me to go home to Fresno for a couple of days and she did not say no like on other times, so after consulting with Edwin, the charge nurse, I decided it would be okay to scoot home for a bit. Steve has tomorrow off (Veteran's Day) and he said he'd like to come sit with Mom for part of the time, so I pray that it will be a good time for him. Please feel free to come and see Mom if anyone feels led to do so. She is not very responsive at all but I believe she can hear everything we say, and she enjoys hearing the Bible read to her and songs sung.

So--I'll head home and come back later. Will post with news as I hear it.
Thank you again for praying.

Monday afternoon and evening

Mom was stable on Monday morning when I arrived at her nursing home; she was in her rolling recliner in the activity room where some pretty music was playing. Her nurse handed me a cup of Ensure and said Mom had not taken any of it for breakfast. When I asked Mom if she wanted some, she nodded but when we tried a tiny bit, only a few drops went in.

So, I asked for a swab with some flavored water to soothe her lips. The CNA brought a cup of lemony mouthwash with a swab, and that seemed nice for Mom. We just sat there and I held her hand while she rested. She really wanted to hold my hand tight.

I am thankful for my husband who said for me to just come and be here with Mom. Tim took our homeschool on the road yesterday! I guess you could call it "Career Day". Julia and Ben did their schoolwork in the back seat of his crew cab pickup while he made his rounds to the dairy farmers and seed dealers. Ben said he would like to do that every day. Tim thinks Ben enjoyed the breakfast (Sanger Donuts) and the lunch (Taco Bell). Today Anna took the children to their group classes, and then Grandpa J. will take them home for the rest of their school day. Family pitches in--that is just what we do!

In the afternoon Mom wanted to go back to her room, so she rested there in her rolling recliner all the rest of the day and I played a hymn CD that has some lovely music--soft singing and lovely instrumentals. I bookmarked each hymn in Mom's hymnal as the next one came on (there are 34) and I just sang along to all the hymns so Mom could hear. She seemed to enjoy that, and was calm and content with the music playing up until the evening. When a dinner tray was offered, I shrugged my shoulders and then took the glass of orangade off the tray and took it to Mom to see if she was interested. She motioned "no". The nursing home keeps offering food and drink, which is what they should do. Mom needs to have the chance to say what she wants to do. She knows she can't swallow and she is resting peacefully for the most part.

Steve and Kathy and chidren arrived in the late afternoon, and then Brian, Leca and Emerson. When Mom opened her eyes and saw Steve standing over her, she started crying and wanted to hug him tight. Each grandchild had a chance to hug their gramma and there were just a few tears. The Lord has prepared each one over the years as they have seen their gramma struggle. Sweet little Bryanna has such earnest eyes. At one point during the evening, she asked, "what is a tumor? What is a blood clock?" Steve was holding her. He will explain about a tumor and blood clot at a later time.

Kathy went and asked the staff if we could sit in an open room since we were a large group. The nursing home is being remodeled and they have a couple of rooms unoccupied at this time, so they let us use a freshly remodeled one for the evening. We wheeled Mom into the middle of the room and everyone sat around her in folding chairs or on the beds.

The evening was just as if we were all sitting in Mom's living room with her. The children visited with one another and we all had a regular conversation. Mom seemed to enjoy just being in the presence of her family and enjoyed hearing everyone have a good time together even though she had her eyes closed. It was not somber or ceremonial or tearful at all. I think Mom was pleased to just be there listening in to everyone. Later I thought that maybe we should have sung a hymn to her, but no one thought of it at the time and everyone just seemed relaxed. It was a good evening. At one point in the time together, Mom started reaching towards the ceiling and towards the top of the wall in front of her line of vision. She had her eyes open. Mom has done this same type of movement in the past two days while I've been with her, and I have not been able to figure it out. I have asked her if she is pointing at someone, and she usually answers no. I have asked if she is seeing Jesus, and she says no. But when she did it last night when all of us were in the room, Brian was the one to ask the questions, and when he asked, "Are you looking into Heaven?" Mom nodded her head yes and she smiled. "Do you see Jesus?" Another nod of the head and slight smile. So, maybe she is seeing a glimpse of what is to come. I took it as a gift from God. All of the children present were really quiet. I hope they will always remember this time with joy in their heart.

remembering

with Anna and Lizzie around October of '88

Thank you Lizzie for posting this photo to Gramma's blog! Indeed, we are all reminiscing about the wonderful heritage that has been given to us. Gramma Moose loves each one of her grandchildren with a love tailored individually for them. And, she has told me that she continues to pray for them.

Monday morning

I'm heading over to the nursing home this morning. I just called the charge nurse and she said the hospice nurse is with Mom. They said Mom cannot eat. Of course we have seen this pattern more and more, of Mom not being able to eat, so we are not surprised; it is one more way for God to gently help Mom to sleep, so to speak, as He prepares her for her Homegoing.

This afternoon my brothers Brian and Steve and their familes will be coming around 4PM so we can all spend some time with Mom. If you could please pray for this time to be sweet and meaningful. We each have our own special memories of Mom and each one needs a special touch to help us through this time. Also pray that Mom will be able to be responsive and communicative at this time, if that is God's will.

Sunday evening

I stayed with Mom through the evening and was thankful to spend more time with her. She was mostly relaxed and not too responsive. What a comfort to see her resting peacefully. We keep thinking of how wonderful it will be for Mom to be in Heaven where there will be no worries, no tears of frustration, and no pain.

At times during the evening there was frustration and disorientation. Mom was pulling at her gown and we thought she might be hot, but her skin did not feel overly warm. The nurse came in and gave her something for anxiety, plus she sat with her and held her hand and looked at her face to face.

Twice during the day yesterday Mom looked at a visitor (the pastor who comes to the nursing home, and the nurse) and opened her eyes and smiled up at them with the sweetest smile. For the rest of the day Mom rested for the most part quietly and peacefully with her eyes mostly closed, but did look at us quite a few times as she tried to tell us something. She has almost no voice left but she was trying to say something. I could not read her lips but we tried to keep her comfortable with little sips and swabs of cool water on her lips.

I am reminded of a loving note sent a few years back when we expected that Mom would die soon. Mom's friend Karon Cecy gave the encouragement and reminder of the verse, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones". Karon reminded us that because Mom is one of the Lord's godly ones, He is watching completely over her, and especially at this time when He is preparing to call her Home. She is precious to Him, and since He is good, whatever He does is good. We are trusting Him to care for our precious Mom in His best way. We had no idea that He would allow us all these years to spend with her. We are thankful, and we know God is in charge.

Sunday

Mom has spent a quiet afternoon. She wanted to go outside so we took her out in her rolling recliner. Her eyes have been mostly closed, but open just a slit and she has had a smile on her face most of the afternoon. She is definitely not as responsive as yesterday.
Kathy and I asked the nurse to check on Mom and her pulse was 69/54. Her heart rate is compensating for the low blood pressure, beating 120 beats per minute. The nurse gave Mom a big hug and Mom smiled up at her with happy eyes.

The nurse said that it is getting really close for Mom.

Mom is being comforted by the hymns that are playing in her room and nods her head in time to the music.

Saturday

Good Sunday morning to everyone. It's so nice to wake up to a beautiful new day. The Lord is good, and His mercies are new every morning.

Yesterday Mom had a bit of a hard time in the morning, and when her friends arrived to cheer her up she really needed cheering. Seems she may have been trying on her own to get to her drink, perhaps, and her glass had spilled all over her and then fell to the floor and broke. On top of that, she was very uncomfortable and needed medication. When friends and family come in, Mom has an advocate who can go ask for help. The nurses look in on her whenever they pass her doorway, because her sweet face is in clear sight of everyone who walks by. So, I imagine the spilled and broken glass must have happened shortly before the friends walked in. Of course our hearts ache thinking of Mom being by herself now when she is too weak to use the call button, and even if she could push it, she can't reach it because it is off to the side or may have fallen off the bed.

As the days go by, we will appreciate more and more having individuals who can just sit with Mom and watch over her. Please do not hesitate to call if you feel prompted to join in with the many who are already coming to sit with Mom. So far, the Lord has orchestrated who comes when, but we would be happy to try to help put people in different slots so there is a good coverage of care. Do not be shy and think that Mom can't have visitors. On the contrary, she thrives with company. However, being around her when she is in distress is not for the faint of heart, so we trust the Lord to prompt those who want to come.

Kathy is feeling a little bit under the weather so I told her to stay home last night; our children are at home with Daddy and I was so glad to sit with Mom all evening.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Back to yesterday:
Mom wanted to go outdoors, so her nurses took her out to the patio in her wheelchair where she visited with Sharon, Pat and Missy, and later Brad and Colleen. Everyone helped with needs and encouragements. While Mom was still outdoors, the hospice nurse visited and assessed Mom. She wanted to check on Mom's morphine patch that is on her back, which is changed every few days. No patch. She searched all over Mom's back, and I was startled to see how bony my dear mother has become on her back. Clearly, the patch was not there. The nurse explained that it is harder for it to stick to bone, and since Mom has very little fleshy areas on her back, it may have come off inside her shirt. So, a new patch was put on her upper left arm. Later in the afternoon, after a rest in bed, Mom wanted to go outdoors again with Kathy and me. This time, however, the nurse asked for a rolling recliner for Mom. She got her all cozy on it with a blanket tucked around her, and wheeled her outside to the pleasant patio. Thankfully the fall days in the Bay Area have been warmish and very lovely. Mom was very sleepy and her eyes kept drooping. Kathy read Scripture to her until she left for the evening, and then after a short while I asked the nurse to take Mom back in and she got tucked in for the evening. Mom was drowsy all evening and of course could not do anything with her supper that was brought. She woke up briefly and wanted a few tiny spoonsful of Ensure. She could not hold a glass at all so I put a little liquid in her mouth with a spoon. Apparently it went down her throat. She was simply too sleepy for anything else. Each time she stirred and opened her eyes during the evening I asked her if she would like more, and sometimes she took a tiny bit but by around 8:30 she shook her head. So, it was time to say good night. I prayed for her and headed to the McBirneys who live quite close by. I miss my family this weekend but am glad for a place to "flop" with our relatives. I'll probably go home today and come back again soon, unless things are much changed when I go in today.

Friday evening

On Thursday and Friday, Mom had a nice group of friends and family keeping her company, and all the love surrounding her seemed to be a real encouragement. Her dear friend Sharon flew in from PA, and came to see Mom with friends Pat and Missy. These dear ladies stayed for hours each day, just taking care of their dear friend's needs while they shared sweet fellowship. These ladies who used to be Mom's travel and Bible Study companions now shared just as much joy and fellowship with her in her nursing home and around her bedside as when they used to go shopping or traveling together.

Lisa was able to see Mom on Thursday and said that Mom has declined so much in just the time since she last saw her two weeks ago. Lisa usually goes every week but had to miss last week.

Anna and I each drove over to the Bay Area last night to see Gramma. Anna came in her own car as she has to get back home sooner. She arrived at Gramma's room first and found Gramma having distress and discomfort. We are finding that Mom needs pain reliever quite often now and it is not easy to "get ahead of her pain", so she does have miserable times before gaining relief from the medication.

Thankfully, soon after the medication was administered, Mom became more comfortable and I think Anna was able to have as good a visit with her Gramma Moose as possible. Here is a picture that we will treasure:

This is what to do

while sitting outdoors at Gramma's nursing home.
Photo of Emma and her mommy, taken last week when they visited.

Thursday

I called the nursing home just now and Edwin said Mom drank an entire glass (probably 8 oz) of Resource beverage this morning, and later she asked for some Ensure. He said she drank a little of that. He said the hospice nurse is with Mom right now and Mom is having a hard time with swallowing again. I can just picture what is going on with Mom. I am going to go and pray for her right now.

love, Jane

Wednesday visits and evening report

Good evening--today seemed to be a pretty good day for Mom! This evening I called her nursing home and the charge nurse said Mom is doing "great"--I did think that might be a little generous of a description for Mom's condition, but then again tonight's nurse is quite optimistic and a nice gal to have around! Winter, the nurse, said that she had heard about Mom drinking some Ensure today and they were all happy about that. She said Mom was resting peacefully tonight and had not required any morphine. So, that was encouraging and we are thankful for a nice quiet evening for Mom.

Today Mom had some sweet visitors. I heard from Ana Matthews who wanted to go see Mom along with Valerie Polterak and some of their children. Ana called from Mom's room and said that Dora Chinn was there when they arrived, and she had been ministering to Mom's needs. How we thank God for such wonderful friends. Indeed, it is a Community of Love in Action!

Ana said they had a nice visit outdoors, and then Mom wanted to go in. They were able to give Mom some liquids and she said that Mom took some drinks about four times when they were with her. This is so encouraging for Mom to have a cheering section, so to speak.

Mom did have some discomfort while they were there. Ana shared that she had read about this on the blog--how Kathy told me to put a cool cloth on Mom's cheeks and the back of her neck, so when they saw Mom was uncomfortable they tried that and it gave Mom some relief. Dora also rubbed Mom's neck and back and Mom seemed to like that.

Ana took a CD player in for Mom to listen to a CD of instrumental arrangements of some old familiar hymns. Mom will of course need someone to push the button for her--I know the nursing home staff will be happy to help with that.

I was able to talk to Mom again today while the visitors were with her and her voice sounded weak to me. Ana said Mom wanted to watch her TV after their visit, and that encouraged me because during the last few days of our visit with her, she was too weak and miserable to think of watching TV. The visitors asked her if she would like them to come again and she answered emphatically, "yes". Visitors seem to energize and encourage Mom so much. Thank you to everyone. The visitors today said that Mom really enjoyed listening to them tell about what is happening in their lives and how their children are growing up, etc.

Well, thank you again for following along on this journey, and for praying.

some good news today!

I just called Edwin, Mom's charge nurse today, and he said Mom is doing better today! He said he was actually surprised this morning when Mom was able to swallow about a cup of Ensure beverage! He said first he cleaned her mouth and swabbed it with the Nystatin medicine, then he offered her the beverage and she was able to drink from the side of the glass. He repeated how surprised he was, and he sounded really happy. Thank the Lord!

Thank you again for praying.

some photos added

Now that we are at home for a short while, I am tucking in a few photos from the past days when we were with Mom. So, scroll down and look at the other days to see them! I'll keep adding as I have time....

My mother's best friend Ruth Patterson had a favorite verse:

Psalm 118:24
"This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it!"

While Ruth was getting weaker and weaker before she passed away, Kelsey kept reminding us of the verse, "This is the day which the Lord has made", and to remember that God has made this day, even if it is hard. It is our part to rejoice!

"The Lord inhabits the praise of His people". (Psalm 23)

What can you praise God for today? Make a list--and I will too!

some insight into why Mom can't swallow

Yesterday I spoke with Theresa, the hospice nurse, and she said she and Pat, the other nurse, spoke with all the nurses and therapists at the nursing home, and they are feeling that Mom must have had an "event" (i.e. a small stroke, perhaps) which has caused her to not be able to swallow well, and usually now she cannot swallow at all. Heather, one of the physical therapists, commented that before Mom went to the hospital for her blood clot in her leg in September, she noticed one day as Mom was sitting in the activity room, that her face looked like it was drooping. She is thinking back to that observation and they are trying to put the pieces together. Theresa has examined Mom's mouth and does not find anything that would be blocking her swallowing. We try pressing on the front of Mom's throat to get a swallowing reflex, and usually nothing happens.

phone call today

One more little thing before the night is over--today on our drive home, I called the nursing home to see how Mom was doing. Her nurse said Mom was doing okay and had a visitor, and she took the phone in to Mom!
Steve Young was visiting. He handed the phone to Mom and she wanted to know how the travelers did. She is always concerned about others. I reminded her of several people who have sent greetings, and she enjoyed hearing that. Steve got on the line and said it was really hard seeing Mom like that. It was good to hear her voice on the phone, though, and to know that she is still thinking somewhat clearly.

I did not call the nursing home tonight, but we are regrouping from our trip and spending time together as a family. Part of our time these days involves planning a fitting tribute and memorial service. I am looking through my files and see notes from three years ago when Mom was going to die "in two weeks". Sigh. She had more work to do, obviously!

"Only one life will soon be past,
Only what's done for Christ will last"

We are safely home, thinking of Mom who will be HOME soon.

Hello from a very sleepy one here! We got up at 3 AM to get the girls (Lizzie, baby Emma and Lizzie's sister-in-law Sarah) to SFO for their 6 AM flight back to Indianapolis, and all went well. 8 month old Emma was all smiles at 3:30, breakfast in tummy, getting her cute clothes on ("the other passengers will look more kindly on us in case she's noisy, if she is cute!", said Mommy Liz). The girls got to the airport with lots of time to spare and then Ben, Julia and I went back to the Pattersons' house to pack our car and head for home for a few days.

Last evening was HARD. It was HARD seeing Lizzie try to say goodbye to her dear Gramma, and it was even harder because Gramma was miserable and becoming more needy by the moment. It was NOT a good good-bye, and we all left in tears.

But, we pray that the memories that remain will be those that are pure, honorable, uplifting, hopeful and full of joy. Because, all of those qualities and more embodied the relationship that Lizzie had with her Gramma Moose.

The time spent with Mom from Wednesday till yesterday has been measured in large part by Mom's marked decline day to day. Yesterday (Monday), we spent time outdoors with Mom, as she was in her wheelchair when we arrived and she wanted to go outdoors to enjoy the gorgeous warm fall weather (80 degrees--what an amazingly perfect November day to be out of doors!)
Dear friend Colleen and her little girl Hannah arrived and added much joy to the day. Mom, however, was just miserable as her main desire was to try to get some nourishment which frustratingly, would not stay in her mouth again. So many tears. What to do? Perhaps we should just start swabbing her mouth with cool water on a sponge now? But, sometimes a little liquid does go down, so no one gives up trying.

Some may wonder: why no feeding tube? She is starving! Indeed, we are realizing how awful this is and it is the hardest thing to watch. But, just to let everyone know how things have transpired in the decision making, Mom's hospice nurse Theresa reminded me that even though Mom did sign an advance care directive many years ago when she was struggling with cancer, and in the paper Mom said she did not want life support, Theresa said that a patient who is still in their right mind has every right to change their mind about such things. For this reason, Theresa took it upon herself on three separate occasions to approach Mom, in the presence of the other hospice nurse, and ask her the hard question: "Gene, do you want a feeding tube?" She explained it several different ways so Mom would fully understand what would be involved. Brave, dear Mom answered clearly the same way each time, without hesitation and without regret, that she did not want a feeding tube. But Theresa said she felt duty bound to ask. Oh how I am thankful for that. This has been very very hard. On the drive home today, my stomach was growling because it was time for a snack. I will never have a growling tummy again without thinking of Mom.

There were some good parts to our visit yesterday (just a few sandwiched in): When we went in to see Gramma in the evening, Gramma was lying on her bed resting quietly and peacefully. She brightened immediately upon seeing baby Emma smiling at her, and thankfully we got some precious photos of those few moments.
































Just a few minutes later, however, Gramma started feeling distressed and began gasping for breath, almost wheezing and then began trying to reach her left hand across her body and grab the bed rail on the other side, again and again. It was like she was not able to control what she was doing, and it was really disturbing to see her in distress. She was beginning to cry out in discomfort and it all seemed like a bad dream, since just minutes earlier we had been all smiles. What was going on? Liz suggested I go get the charge nurse, and I went to get him, but he had just seen Gramma
smiling with the baby so he thought medication would not be necessary just yet. Pretty soon we both heard Gramma crying out from way down the hall, and here came Lizzie in tears--"come!!" So he came and saw the terrible distress that had suddenly come over Mom. There was a CNA who was attending to Mom's roommate and she just came over and gave me a big hug and said "I'm sorry". We are all so sad for Mom. Of course the nurse immediately got some morphine and put it at the back of Mom's mouth, and we held her lips closed so it would stay in. I massaged Mom's face with a cool damp cloth, as Kathy showed me that this is something that provides relief for Mom's tight, painful skin. I also rubbed her back with it and her neck. Mom was not feeling better at all, and even though Lizzie and I stayed for about another 20 minutes, there was not much relief in Mom's discomfort and agitation. This was basically how Lizzie last saw her Gramma and we are praying that the Lord will cover over the memories and bring only the good ones back to mind.

When I got in the car to take all the kids back to Sunnyvale to pack and get to bed, we received a sweet phone call from Mom's dear friend Pat, saying that Mom's long-time friend Sharon is flying out from Pennsylvania on Wednesday evening to see Mom. Oh, joy!!! We PRAY that this will be a GOOD time. I immediately went back in to the nursing home to tell Mom the wonderful news. She sure did light up, even though still struggling physically. We pray that this upcoming visit will give Mom something to hope for and look forward to.

Kathy said that she arrived at the nursing home just after we left, and found Mom resting well. Praise God! She shared, however, that after about one hour, the agitation and distress that I described all started up again. The nurse administered morphine again at the sign of distress, and Mom was more calm.

Thank you everyone for taking time to read this and to pray.

Sunday

We went to see Mom yesterday afternoon, and she has definitely taken a turn towards the Homeward stretch. It was so nice to see Kathy and also Marta Zapp with Mom. Such dear friends. We felt rather helpless yesterday to do anything for Mom except keep going to the nurse on her behalf. Although we were able to help her sip a little bit of liquids, Mom also needed morphine for the pain that is wracking her body. At some points during the evening, Mom kept clutching at her chest and also patting at her abdomen to show us where the discomfort was. She cried out in discomfort. More morphine was given later, this time with a different kind of applicator that got it farther back in her throat. Mom finally was resting peacefully around 7 PM and I felt it was okay to leave.

Kathy often goes later in the evening to check on Mom, even after 9 PM, and she tries to comfort as well.

Mom has many people who love her in the nursing home also. Last night the cleaning and laundry man, David, was so kind to bring Mom a nice hot towel straight from the dryer when I went searching for something warm to put on Mom's tummy to kind of provide some temporary relief for her. He said, "She is my friend." He said he goes and sits with her occasionally. I noticed he kept looking in to her room as he passed by, and has a look of love on his face.

Tita, the charge nurse, also decided to give Mom something for her anxiety. Sometimes Mom is calm and peaceful, but then all of a sudden she grasps her chest and pulls at her gown and cries out in desperation. She grabs for my hand and will not let go. I squeeze her hand three times, "I love you", and she squeezes back three times. Tita suggested that she should call hospice and they would be coming more frequently. Tita said she thinks Mom "is getting really close".

During the time periods when Mom was calmer, we were able to read some Psalms to her, and we also sang hymns and whenever we sang, it seemed to calm Mom more, and she nodded her head to the music. Music is such a gift and the hymns that Mom loves are a true balm and comfort to her at this time.

Please, if anyone goes to visit her, if she is up to it, feel free to grab her hymnal and sing to her, even if you feel you are not a good singer, sing a hymn if you wish!

Also, the nursing home told us that they are now open late at night for loving friends and family, so if you feel the Lord laying it on your heart to stop in and sit and pray and encourage, please do so (within reason), until further notice.

with love and gratitude,
Jane

Saturday

Our whole family was able to be together! What a wonderful gift! Tim drove over after work on Friday, and Anna and Daniel drove over separately. We all stayed at our friend Kelsey Patterson's house and had a big slumber party. Louise made a delicious supper on Friday evening and we had fun together.

On Saturday all of us Jacobsens went up to Redwood City to see Gramma Moose. She was glad to see everyone, but her joy was diminished by the utter frustration of being so miserable with her hunger and not being able to swallow anything that she tried to drink. She wanted to sit with everyone outdoors in the lovely, warm fall weather under the patio umbrella, and we were happy to see her friend Bea Mo who came for a visit, but all of us felt like we were suffering right along with Mom as we saw her struggles in her helpless condition. We went and got the hymnal out of Mom's room, and Tim led us in several old hymns. Mom nodded along with the music and that was nice. The visit was hard for the children, to see their Gramma so miserable. Mom eventually asked to go back to her bed, where her helpers got the oxygen for her and got her more comfortable. We then took turns just sitting with Gramma in her room while the rest of the family visited outdoors. Big sigh. It was a hard day. Little Emma Grace brought much joy with her giggles and smiles and learning to crawl on a big blanket, and she also enjoyed trying to "drive" Grampa Tim's big white truck. I'll post photos when we get home!

Tim had to get back home to finish the alfalfa planting, so he left in the early evening. Anna and Daniel left also for the evening to go to our friend Matt's house for a party, and the rest of us stayed at the nursing home for a while.

The nurse brought the Nystatin and painted the back of Mom's throat, a few minutes before 5:00 PM. Mom was brave and even though it all started to drip down her chin, I encouraged her to close her lips and keep it all in. I lifted her chin and we tried to get it to the back of her throat. I told her it needs to go down her throat to help the infection. The nurses have said that Mom's thrush infection is pretty much cleared up, but if they are continuing to treat it, the medicine really needs to go down her throat if possible to help with any infection that is down there, at least that is what I understand! (My apologies if what I write is not completely medically accurate; I am writing my observations as I just watch and ask questions.)

At shortly after 5 PM, the CNA brought Mom's dinner tray. Mom was not interested in her pureed foods. She unwrapped the top of her orange juice glass, however, and started drinking! I watched her throat and saw that she was really swallowing it! I left for a few minutes and when I came back, the glass was only 1/4 full, and Mom had not dribbled any on the front of her, completely unlike what has been happening since Wednesday. She had a smile in her eyes and we worked on getting some Ensure into her, as well as some water and a little milk. We counted up how many ounces we think went in, and it was about 9 ounces in one hour. Mom seemed tired then and we got ready to leave around 6 PM. It was so nice to see Mom not frustrated.

I think that in the past few days and weeks, there must also have been some times when Mom has been able to swallow. She is maintaining some strength, even while she is most assuredly declining.

Well, that is all for now. We were thankful that the children could say goodbye to Gramma last evening while she was relatively cheerful and not too frustrated.

Thank you again for praying!

Friday

Friday morning brought a wonderful surprise--my cousin Lynne, who works for Delta airlines in TX, was able to hop on a standby flight and came out to see Mom! I returned her cell phone call mid-morning and said, "Where are you?" "I'm sitting here with your mom!", she replied. What?? Wow--I knew she was trying to come, and I was preparing to go get her at SFO airport! She is one amazing gal with her GPS. But, what else should we expect from the wife of an Air Force pilot? We are blessed with the most loving relatives and friends. Lynne was able to stay for a few hours and it was a good closure time for her with her Aunt Gene. Living so far away, she has not had the chance to learn Mom's "stroke language", so she communicated the best she could, with creativity and love.


Here is a picture of Lynne with Lizzie and Emma in the parking lot.














Mom was feeling strong enough to go outdoors, and it was a lovely sunny day. She always asks to go outside. She tries so hard. We took the lovely bouquet of garden flowers that Nan had brought, outdoors to grace our table. Friend Marge Perry came, and then Brad, Colleen and Hannah Mortensen. We got Mom's hymnal out of her room and had some hymn singing time around the table. Mom enjoyed listening, and nodded along to the old familiar words. She loves hymns. She has memorized probably a hundred, I imagine. I just wonder what is going on in her mind while she is alone. So many people are praying for Mom, and we know the Lord is caring for her. One friend wrote, "May she continually sense the precious companionship of the Holy Spirit, the comfort of the Lord's loving arms around her, and the nourishment He provides in her current limitations to take in what her body craves. May He feed her the manna, milk and meat of Heaven, and quench her thirst with His Springs of Living Water. What a feast she has to look forward to, in sitting down to truly dine with the Master when He invites her to eat at His table daily."

Mom wanted to eat while we were outdoors, so we tried the Ensure strawberry beverage, but that all dribbled out. So, we focused our attention on comforting Mom with singing and visiting. Mom asked to go lie down on her bed after a short while, so Colleen went in with her, and then Brad came in to pray with her.

Mom's nurse put the oxygen on her, and Mom began resting more peacefully, reclined on her bed. We all just went and visited her one or two at a time for the rest of the afternoon, sitting by her bedside while she closed her eyes with a slight smile on her face. When little Hannah came to say goodbye to "Gramma Gene", Mom had a cute little expression when she was gazing at sweet Hannah. The visits from little people and loving friends are REALLY encouraging to Mom.

We stayed until 5 PM and then prayed with Mom and bid her goodbye for the evening. I took several photos of her looking so sweet and peaceful in her bed. I told her that Keith has offered to bring in a headset with Scripture playing for her to listen, and she smiled with her sweet look and nodded that she would really like that.

The hospice nurses have asked the Physical Therapy dept. to do a swallowing evaluation on Mom to see if they can determine any more about why Mom cannot swallow. One theory I keep hearing is that Mom MAY have had another little stroke, which may have made it impossible for her to swallow. The lack of tongue movement may have even caused or worsened the thrush condition which is being treated, but without swallowing there can really be no more nourishment.

Kathy has been sitting with Mom in the evening times, and a few days ago when she worked with Mom for two hours, she was able to help Mom swallow little tiny sips and spoons of juice. Mom actually swallowed about a half of a little glass of juice that evening, sip by sip, with pauses in between. Yesterday we did not have as much success as Kathy did.

Here are some more photos from the day:

Mom with dear friend Marge as we sat outdoors visiting. Mom's smile is weak but she was so glad to be with friends and family.













Gramma with Lizzie and Emma











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Brad, Colleen and Hannah with Mom in her room


















Here is Mom looking up at Colleen and Hannah with a sweet expression

Thursday

Thursday was a long day. I have told people that when I am at home, I feel like floating, buoyed up by prayer, as I think about Mom and her exciting times ahead, when she will be finally safe at Home. What will Heaven be like for her? She will be freed from all her pain, all her tears, and she will be safe with her Savior. I have felt at times as if we, her family and friends, are cheering her on, getting her ready for this wonderful journey.

But when we are with her, it is all different.

Yesterday was bittersweet. There were a few times when we caught Mom smiling, as she gazed upon her great-granddaughter Emma Grace, and as she enjoyed seeing us bring out her old hats that she used to wear back in the '60s, and as we tried to cheer her up with photos and stories.

But, mostly the day was really really hard as we see Mom suffer. Her skin tone is pinker, but Lizzie noticed that it seems like Gramma's thin skin is almost in pain, from being so dehydrated. Kathy has been putting a cool moist paper towel on Mom's cheek and on her neck, and that is really comforting to Mom.

Mom was not on oxygen yesterday, and she wanted to go outside. So we sat outdoors under the patio umbrellas and visited. She is so hungry. She wants so much to eat. We spent all day trying to get little bits of ice cream to stay in her mouth. Just when we thought we were successful, all the little tiny bits of ice cream that we thought may have gone down the back of her throat all came puddling towards the front and then we had to clean out her mouth. Again. Tears of frustration. Chocolate ice cream mixed with tears. Our hearts break, and I hug my mother. "You have done SUCH a good job, Mom. I love you!!!" "I love you too", she sobs. She puts her hand to her forehead and just cries in frustration.