Thursday

Thursday was a long day. I have told people that when I am at home, I feel like floating, buoyed up by prayer, as I think about Mom and her exciting times ahead, when she will be finally safe at Home. What will Heaven be like for her? She will be freed from all her pain, all her tears, and she will be safe with her Savior. I have felt at times as if we, her family and friends, are cheering her on, getting her ready for this wonderful journey.

But when we are with her, it is all different.

Yesterday was bittersweet. There were a few times when we caught Mom smiling, as she gazed upon her great-granddaughter Emma Grace, and as she enjoyed seeing us bring out her old hats that she used to wear back in the '60s, and as we tried to cheer her up with photos and stories.

But, mostly the day was really really hard as we see Mom suffer. Her skin tone is pinker, but Lizzie noticed that it seems like Gramma's thin skin is almost in pain, from being so dehydrated. Kathy has been putting a cool moist paper towel on Mom's cheek and on her neck, and that is really comforting to Mom.

Mom was not on oxygen yesterday, and she wanted to go outside. So we sat outdoors under the patio umbrellas and visited. She is so hungry. She wants so much to eat. We spent all day trying to get little bits of ice cream to stay in her mouth. Just when we thought we were successful, all the little tiny bits of ice cream that we thought may have gone down the back of her throat all came puddling towards the front and then we had to clean out her mouth. Again. Tears of frustration. Chocolate ice cream mixed with tears. Our hearts break, and I hug my mother. "You have done SUCH a good job, Mom. I love you!!!" "I love you too", she sobs. She puts her hand to her forehead and just cries in frustration.